The granddaddy of wrestling pay per views is a little over two days away. I normally do a series of big Wrestlemania previews, but this year I wasn’t able to, so I decided at a minimum I had to at least list the card for the super bowl of wrestling along with my predicted winner.
Battle of the Billionaire Hair Match (with Special Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin): Bobby Lashley v. Umaga: I think Bobby Lashley wins after Vince McMahon does something to screw with Stone Cold, causing Stone Cold to screw Vince, thus leading to Donald Trump shaving Vince’s head.
WWE Championship: John Cena v. Shawn Michaels: HBK defeats Cena with interference from Triple H, thus turning DX into a heel team.
World Heavyweight Championship: Batista v. Undertaker: Undertaker 14 match win streak at Wrestlemania finally comes to an end as Batista emerges as the new monster of Smackdown.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Randy Orton v. Mr. Kennedy v. Fit Finley v. Matt Hardy v. Jeff Hardy v. King Booker v. CM Punk v. Edge: The last three competitors will be Edge, Matt Hardy, and Jeff Hardy, with Matt coming within inches of winning until Jeff spears him off the ladder, which gives Edge time to creep up the latter. The fallout of Jeff stopping Matt, is a summer feud between brothers.
ECW Originals v. New Breed: Sandman/Sabu/Tommy Dreamer/RVD v. Eljah Burke/Matt Striker/Marcus “Alpha Male” Cor Von/Kevin Thorn: ECW Originals wins this one after a bloodbath; however, the Alpha Male will at least pounce at least two originals through tables.
Women’s Championship: Melina v. Ashley: Melina retains after a hard fought match.
Kane v. The Great Khali: The Great Khali is the missing link between man and breast. Like his brother, the Big Red Machine goes down.
U.S. Championship: Chris Benoit v. MVP: The loud mouth and flashy MVP finally lives up to his hype after an impressive win over veteran Benoit.
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